My beloved Grandma passed away peacefully this morning at 5.00 AM. She was healthy as usual yesterday and she got unconscious at about 2.00 AM and a few hours later, she has gone “asleep”.
Click to play the music:
(This is the music that I play when I’m writing this, if you play it, you’ll know my feeling when I’m writing)
Letter to Grandma…
“Hi Grandma,
By the time I wrote this, you’re already on your journey to Heaven. As silly as it sounds, I want to tell you not to be anxious if no one’s holding your hand because when you reach Heaven, you’ll be ready. I know you’re used to having someone holding your warm hand.
I always remember how happy you are waiting at the porch for me to pick you up to go out for a walk, lunch or catch a movie. You’ll always bring a sweater along, just in case if you get cold and don’t want that to spoil your outing.
And you’ll wear the black color Croc sandal I bought for you last year. Although it’s tight recently, you still want to wear it because of how much you love it.
I always remember how happy you are when you’re eating your favorite food - that, you like to taste all kinds of food and share it with us. You never eat alone, you always ask me to eat with you.
I always remember how much you like taking pictures - and then if you don’t look good in it, you’ll “complain”. :-) And you always like to wear bright colors.
I always remember when I drop you back home after a fun day, you’ll say, ‘thank you’ many times to my wife and me because you really appreciate the time we’re together. And you’ll ask softly, “When will I see you again?” and looking forward for another outing even if it’s a month later. God, I miss that moment.
I can remember how happy you are when you hold Marin, my baby girl, in your hand. Your face glitters with happiness, she likes smiling to you too.
I can remember that once in a while, you’ll call me on my cell phone when you miss me too much- that you keep my phone number in your notepad, somewhere stuff in your messy drawer. I wish you’ve called me again last week.
I also know how much you love my wife and baby and they love you too. Sometimes, you forget my wife’s name but you’ll always ask me how is she doing.
Grandma,
Today you look so beautiful and peaceful. I spoke to you, I know you can’t say anything back because you’re looking at me from above smiling - I told you that I will always love you as your grandchild and how much you mean to me. When I touch your hand today in your final bed, it’s cold but I know God has a better place for you now.
Today, I sit on the chair at the porch - the same chair that you always wait for me to come pick you up. When I look out to the road, I know the exact feeling of cheerfulness that you have at that moment of time.
Grandma, I want you to know that I’m not sad that you have to go – I guess I’m just missing the moments with you and talking with you like how we use to chat and laugh, especially since I haven’t seen you for a month now, until today. Today, our ‘outing’ was… a little bit different.
On another side, I’m blessed with my own family right now - Emily, my wife and Marin, my baby girl. Also, Mum and Dad are still here, I’m grateful for that.
Grandma, if you happen to see me crying once in a while from above, please don’t worry :-) - they’re all happy tears because you’re always close to my heart and live in my memory. Any grandson or anyone who miss their love ones in heaven would understand.”
Love,
Your grandson
________________________________________________________
March 17, 2009
Re: I Cried When She Doesn’t Recognize Me Anymore
LATEST UPDATE: Good news! Doctor said that it’s a mild stroke, not Alzheimer that affects her brain – it can be healed if Grandma’s strong. THANK YOU for being part of this ‘healing’. I believe, this might not happen if it wasn’t with your kind prayers.
(There were many grammar mistakes in the sharing below because I wrote this in a hurry last night. I was thinking to edit it today but I’ve decided to leave them as it is to remain who I am.)
It’s just so hard to start writing this because I don’t know where to begin.
I will write as what I heart wants to share, as what I experienced today.
The day, Tuesday 17 March 2009 starts as usual – until my Auntie called me on the phone, telling me that I have to see Grandma quick, something’s very wrong.
You see, if this is the first time you’re reading my blog, you might not get the whole story of my grandma – she’s the women that I love very much, the women who is strong at heart and the women who gave me the unconditional love that I could ever dream of.
I wrote about her 5 years ago – the story of what is meaningful in our life. If you like to read that, click here. Once read, you will understand how I feel today.
I was prepared to accept anything but in truth, I wasn’t prepared for anything.
Uncles, aunties and cousins were all there – at Grandma’s house.
That’s Grandma when she’s 80, 5 years ago – today she’s 85.
I went to see Grandma, smile at her as usual and talk to her but she replied, ‘I couldn’t sleep’.
I thought it was still normal because she always says that to me so that I’ll show my care but then she said, ‘Who are you?’, I don’t know what to think. She is the same Grandma who took me to shopping malls to buy toys when she has no money, bring me to McDonald’s to spoil me when I was a kid, love me unconditionally and the same women that I love with all my heart – couldn’t remember me anymore. Couldn’t even call my name.
At that time, I know I ‘lost’ her.
I look into her eyes, touch her cheek gently and ask her again – “Do you know me?” I can tell she’s trying very hard but she can’t answer me.
I started crying. Tears were coming down but I try to be strong. Grandma didn’t even know why I’m crying but she wipes the tears off my cheek with her hanky and still giving me the same caring Grandma smile – the same one that I always look forward to see when I meet her.
I hold her hand and try to talk to her again – “Grandma, remember last week when you visited me at my house, you told me your birthday is coming next week? That you were all excited about the celebration, that I’ll buy you a gift?”
She was wearing my gift for her birthday last year, the bracelet she wears everyday with happiness and pride – a bracelet that is carved with the design of leaf. I remembered that was the best gift she’s ever gotten from me, she’ll always tell me how much she loves the bracelet and tell all our relatives about it, bragging about it – how much I love her.
Now, she can’t even remember her birthday’s next week.
She says things that are not real like, “I cannot see” when her eyes is still open and seeing things.
She doesn’t remember where the bracelet comes from – she keeps on asking innocently me, “Do you know who put this bracelet on my hand?”
She was all fine a few days ago but I think I’ve lose her to Alzheimer. But I won’t quit even I cannot win – I’ll still be by my Grandma’s side until God thinks it’s time. She’s now in her own world, a happy nor sad world – a world that doesn’t represents anything but time will keeps on going by. I know she likes to eat a lot of stuff, I’ll still take her if she wants, although she couldn’t appreciate it anymore, or even enjoy eating. She is my loving, only Grandma.
This is the latest picture that I have with Grandma in January 2009 when she’s 85.
Yes, her eyes and mouth are slightly disoriented because she was hit with another “illless” last year but her spirit for living in this world is bigger – she strived and was back in the game of life. But this time, I guess, luck wasn’t on our side.
Grandma enjoys taking pictures – she always asks us to take her pictures everytime we can. Now I know why, she enjoys seeing them and keeping the wonderful memory she experienced, the joy and happiness. But now, I don’t think she remembers anything but I’m sure I’ll find a stack of photos she kept in her room one day.
You see, in life, we cannot prevent unwanted things to happen. You sure can do everything but there’s no guarantee it won’t happen. There are people who never smoke in their life before but still get cancer. There are people who exercise, live a healthy diet and yet died of heart attack. There are people like my Grandma – who we showered all of the love we can, give her the best nutrition we can afford, live a healthy diet and pamper her with the things she wants – and yet, ugly shit still creeps into her life.
But what you can do is cherish what you have, TODAY.
Do you cherish every moment in your life and your love ones, starting from the time you wake up in the morning?
Do you do give the best you can, EVERY DAY so that you can look back say, “I’ve done all I can”.
And finally, did you touch someone’s life today so that you won’t regret anything missing?
From today’s onwards, I make a vow that I’ll make AT LEAST a person happy so that I will look back and say, ‘I have contribute to create happiness today and someone is smiling’.
Last but not least – do you say prayers? If you don’t, that’s okay but if you do – I have a big favor to ask from you and I hope you’ll do this for me because you once have a Grandma too. Would you please say your prayer tonight before you go to sleep, that you’ll wish Grandma will be okay soon? That’s all I ask for.
- Patric
*A grandson who misses his Grandma very much*
This entire sharing is 100% true experience – exactly what happened to me today. It’s written so that I get the chance to tell the world how much she means to it. It is also, as a reminder to everyone who reads it that, life is short. Make full use of it especially making yourself and your love ones happy – be it your Mum, Dad, son, daughter, wife, husband, Grandpa, Grandma and so on. Don’t forget that age pass by very fast so don’t make the mistake of chasing wealth but end up spending it alone. Feel free to share what you read with anyone who you think would appreciate what you read today. – www.whenwealthmeansnothing.com
Patric,
The letter to your grandmother is very touching. I could feel much emotion in my heart. I know you will always carry her in your heart and will continue to do good in the world in her memory.
Our prayers are with you and your family. Your Grandma is a good place now.
Sylvia
Dear Patric,
Sorry to hear about your grandmother. My heart-felt and deepest condolence goes to you and your family. Your grandmother will no doubt be really missed by all those who love her but knowing that she has gone to a better place & be watching over you and your family from heaven above.
God Bless!
Cindy
Mr. Patric: my sincere compliments in this difficult times. God give peace to your heart and mind.
Thank U Patric for help me in my star up.
Hi Patric,
I am sorry to hear about it..
May your grandma rest in peace..
May you be stay strong and take care..!
I am happy for your grandmother.Where she is going is beyond the life of this world. It’s another existence. She is now spared the trials of this world. Rest in peace. may God Almighty forgive her and have mercy on her.
N>B> my mother of 83 passed on ,on 28 aug 2009 at 7:35 a.m.. I knew her for 52 years.
Thank you patric. Her life in this world has ended. It’s our turn now to live a better life
Patric, I find comfort in my mother’s passing by doing the things that she taught me.Thank you.
Sad to hear your grandma passed away. May the other angels always take best of care your auntie in her journey at the beautiful world of spirits in the afterlife. I`m sure she is now most dedicated Guardian angels of yours Patric. Keep up the magnificent work my friend and continue making your grandma and others proud. Always gently live your purpose. I know you always will:)
Best wishes!
Max
Dear Patric,
Sorry to hear the passing of your Grandma. My prayers are with you and your family.
May Almighty God welcome her into the eternal joy of heaven.
Peace be with you.
Simon Chan
Dear Patric,
I would like to say that you are one of those people that I feel lucky to have met in this short time that we have on Earth. The first time we meet in Dubai, you talk about how lucky you had been to travel around the World with your Wife buy your side.
Then when you first talked about you Grandma, I could feel the very special Love you both had for each other. She is part of you and has helped made you the great person that you are.
This is why you are a very genuine person that a lot of us have chosen to follow, as you put your heart into anything that you do or advice you give us.
You and your family are in our hearts at this difficult time and send or Love to all from. Roger and Lacy.
Body decomposes but spirit is eternal.
Dear Patric,
My condolences for your loss, Patric…along with prayers that you and your family will be comforted through this time of transition.
It\’s wonderfully clear from your writings of her that your years have been abundantly blessed by your grandma\’s life, presence, and her unconditional love…now you will continue to be blessed by the closeness and presence of her spirit to your hearts of love for each other. Continue your talks to her…she will hear you and answer…and you will hear those answers in both your heart and mind…because now you\’ve been gifted with the \"Light of your Love and Memories\" of her to carry with your for the rest of your days, until you meet once again as spirits both.
Thank you for sharing that love with us all.
Grandma Passed Away Peacefully… My prayers to Grandma and also to Patric and family..
Hi Patric,
My condolence..
I might not be a rich guy like you but I have the same soft and caring heart almost similar to yours and I fully understand how you felt when you wrote your path of life with grandma.. I wish I had written one like you for my late grandparents, late father and also late brother.
Best wishes to you and your family..
From: Frankie
PS: I had just read “You Can Take Life for Granted” at http://www.patricchan.name/167/you-can-take-life-for-granted/ .. Thanks Patric
Dear Pat:
This world is a school or university, we all came here to study and learn what we have planned, this is a moment you should enjoy because your Granma was graduated and with HONORS. Observe that she didn’t suffer to die, she was living her life very wisly; she left this world because it was time for her to go. Our God had a job to be done in Heaven and He new it was her who could do it.
You were VERY NICE to her all her life, she did enjoy you as a child, it was GREAT for her to buy those toys for you (I, as an uncle, bough many toys for my sister’s sons and believe me I did enyoy doing it) you had many great days with her, you both did enjoy them don’t you? You don’t have to feel bad because you din’t saw her for a month, this wasn’t because you hate her, it was your work that keep you busy so you have not reason to suffer.
When we die, we leave our bodies and go in our astral body. We keep that body for about a week and during that time we are around all that people we loved. During all that time if you suffer and cry SHE is going to suffer because she loved you so stop that suffering and tell her nice things you know she is going to enjoy. You know she is around and nobody sees or listen her so if you call her she will be by your side inmedietly, make her happy and ejoy doing it. Ask her for any help you need, I don’t know how much she could help you but do it anyway. Ask God for help for her, tel HIM how nice she was with you. Instead of suffering hel her all you can.
Bless your heart Patric,,,I loved your letter to your Gram,,,,,,reminded me alot of my own Gramma\’s,,,I was so blessed as well, with very loving grandparents, we have so much to be thankful for, don\’t we,,,I really miss them, especially on the holidays,,,loved hanging out with my Gram\’s and with our families, those were the best days for sure, but many more wonderful blessings ahead for us as well,,,,,,,,take care my friend, Love, Happiness and Joy to you and your family,,,,,,,,,,,,cheerio from Teresa
Prayers of peace and comfort for you and your family
My prayers for peace and comfort for you and your family
Hi Patric… this is beautiful. I can tell you will really miss her. I’m touched by your vulnerability. You will be in my prayers and meditations!
Hi Patric:
Looking at your Grandma\’s picture, I can see that she was a sweet and wonderful woman. Gentle and kind – the best of Gandmas. I\’m sure you feel the gratitude and the blessings that God has given you by letting her be YOUR grandma.
Cherish the memories. Your Grandma will always be alive through the good that she has given and taught you.
Peace be upon you.
Rashidah
My thoughts and prayers are with you Mr Chan….
May God bless you and your family…..
Jason Harvey
My condolences to you and your family. Your grandma looks like sweet person.
Hi Patric,
My condolences to you and your family. I was really moved by your words and the song you were listening to. Your Grandma must be very happy to have someone who love her so much.
Thanks for the post. It makes us realise how much we should cherish those that we love while they are still with us.
God bless!
Paul Pang
Hi Patric,
I am sorry to hear of your Grandma’s passing, and yet, we all know our time will come and that her years here were well spent, as she instilled in you a deep and abiding love of family and humanity, which you have already begun following in her footsteps. The music you chose is beautiful and made your letter all the more meaningful as I read it. I fought the tears, but could not swallow the lump in my throat. I’m glad you had such a wonderful relationship with your Grandma, as not enough people are ever that lucky. I feel very privileged to know you and study with you. Your kindness comes through in all you do. I think she is very proud of you.
Blessings,
Roberta
Hi Patric;
I cried when I read your letter. Patric it was very heart felt letter and the love you have for your Grandmother came through loud and clear. I feel very sad for your lose of your Grandmother but I’m 100% certain that she took you with her in her heart. I am also certain that she will remain in your heart for all eternity.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during your time of lose.
Love from Tucson,
Donna
Hi Patric
I remember my grandma used to call me on my cellphone too.
Reading your post brought back those memories that we had shared together.
Take care…
Indeed we must make ample opportunity of the time we have to share with our loved ones.
We must take time to listen… take time to help out… take time to make a phone call…
I could hear the joy in my granny, my mum’s voice even though it might just be a mundane “How’s your day today?”
Thanks, Patric for your sharing and yes, our grannies are watching over us from heaven.
Patric,
I am so sorry for your loss. I truly will keep you and your family in my prayers. As we speak, my Grandma is living with me…she has Alzheimers. It is terrible. I can definitely identify with that sadness of her not “knowing” me in anymore. She helped raise me and now she thinks of me as a stranger. Anyway, just wanted to say I am sorry and that I hope you will be brought comfort and peace during this hard time.
Shanda Mullins
i feel sorry for loss your gm, hope you will well soon…
Dear Patric,
My deepest condolence on your loss.
To all the readers out there, one of the most important thing that we must do, is to love and to show our gratitude through our actions, words that we choose when we are with our love ones….especially our Parents. My challenge to all of you is to say these words to your parents ” I love you MOM and Dad for raising me up and bringing so much joy and happiness in my life. Thank you ” and then give them a real “big hug”…and do it constantly and don’t wait till its too late.
regards,
Keith
http://www.optionmastery.wordpress.com
lovely grandma. Please accept my condolences, and may she rest in perfect peace
Hi. Patric,
My condolence to you and your family and love ones.
Realistically speaking life must go on but on the another hand I believe your grandmother is also happy to go as her calling or duty on this earth has been done to her best ability.
May she rest in peace.
God bless you.
R.L.
Hi,
Thank you for your wishes. Each time I read one, I felt happier how much you show your concern towards Grandma and me.
To those who shed tears and felt the feeling of losing someone you love, I’m touched with your heartful feeling.
Again, I like to say thank you for being ‘here’.
Best regards,
Patric Chan
P.S: If Grandma’s around, she would be excited to see this page of hers because she doesn’t know computer or internet at all.
Hi Patric,
I feel for you now that your grandmother passed away.
I lost my grandmother 18 years ago and I still miss her even after all these years.
We were very fortunate to have had these beautiful women in our lives and all we can do now is to treasure the priceless memories we have that nobody can take away from us.
Please pass my condolances to your family ,
Sending you love and gentle thoughts,
Olivia
i want to be ur member plz help me and tell me in easy way
Hi Patric,
Sorry to hear that your grandma just passed away. My condolence to you and your family.
God bless & take care!
Sorry to hear of your Grandma’s passing, my friend.
She’ll remain alive and well in your heart and memories forever.
God bless,
Mike
Heartfelt Condolences Chan. I know it is going to difficult for you to come to terms with the reality that she is no more, for days to come. Only time will heal. I pray to Universe
to give you strength to bear the loss. I understand your feelings now as I too had the same experience, not long ago.
Shyam
Hi Patrick,
It is indeed a physical lost but it is a spiritual gain for the Lord.
A physical death is just a step to eternal life. I encourage you to look into the spiritualman level in operating your natural life. You will find so much peace in the natural life if you do this.
Just as you have said, we might lose our memory but in the spiritman level, we are always a thought away and always assured that “something good is going to happen” in every moment.
My younger sister just shared her eternal life with our Lord just last 2 weeks ago.. And long before she go, she has assured me that she were able fulfill the purpose of her life, and that is to be part of saving a soul of another close-relative for the Lord.
Be strong in the Lord and the joy of the Lord is our strength. And to save a soul makes the angels rejoice in heaven. Finally, to trust and obey HIS Word is the joy of the Lord.
Have a blessed day, always.
bro.Victor
Hello Patric,
I am sorry about your Grandma. I am sure the inspiration left by your Grandma will last forever.
Sudhir
Hi Patrick, I really admire when you say things directly from someone’s heart. It’s a sign that you also speaks from the heart.
My deep condolence to you and your love ones… May God bless you always and forever.
Becca
Hi patric please take heart, and be strong as before.
hey patric,
thank you for sharing her with us…
Grace & Peace be with you always,
willie j smith
Hi Patric
Take heart. .Grandma had a fulfilled life and indeed has gone to rest. You did what was expected of you and Grandma prayers will continue to be with you.
God will comfort you and your loved ones for this loss.
Hi Patric,
I just want to say I am so sorry about your Granmothers passing.
She has such a beautiful smile and warm loving eyes.
I know you are missing her.
I appreciate your efforts in moving forward. That is always a saving grace for me.
Keep in peace and love,
Donna
Donna Rensel
Umatilla, Florida
MY PUPS
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Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where
there is no noise, trouble or hard work.
It means to be in the midst of those things
and still be calm in your heart. ”
Be Happy. She has gone to a peaceful place but she had imprinted in your mind and heart her love and kindness that remains a part of you. Memories of her cannot be deleted from your memory unless you met “A D”.
This is a stage that everyone or every family has to go through.
… have to move forward.
Thanks.
My condolence to you and your family. I believe your grandma is gladful to have you as her grandson.
Dear Patric Chan,
Some years ago, when I was first on your list, you and I exchanged e-mails about our mutual experiences with our amazing grandmothers.
We are, I think, both to be envied for our good fortune in having had such remarkable, loving, generous and wise people to care for us. I know exactly what it feels like to lose that great source of strength, wisdom and love, and I extend my heartfelt condolences to you and your family at this sad time.
I am sure that their comfort and support will be of the greatest help to you in your loss, and I send too messages of support and comfort to help you bear these dark days.
Warmest regards,
Philippa Steel
Dear Patric,
Everyday we live is a blessing to be treasured. The Bible talks about life as “being but a vapor”. Some folks lives are cut short and never pass their teens.
Your grandma, had a long life. Wealth is not a necessary element for a good life. Who we are and the people we touch is.
It is sad that many folks only leave a dash between their birth and their passing. They missed the pleasure of helping others.
If your grandma touched you therefore, her life had meaning. She blessed you as well as you blessed her.
Grieve! It’s part of the natural closure. Her good memories will always be there.
You must continue to do your gifting. Helping other folks become prosperous is a quality few possess. You are a mentor. Do your thing. Bless all you meet!
In sympathy,
Ernie
My deepest condolence to you & family. Losing love ones is never easy, but she will still remain in your heart & memory. You can never fully recover from such pain, so when some thing like this happen, take your time for grieving. At the same time just remember there are still others depends on you to be strong so they will also can feel some relief & peace.
Life must goes on, all the living have to go trough death. It’s the cycle of life. The point of being a life is live your life to the fullest & make no regrets in life! Take this as a part of many challenges in life. Life with out challenges, is not life at all.
And don’t lose faith, always say your prayer sincerely. He will answer your prayers, bcoz only Him knows what best for you, even when you feel nothing good is happening.
Regards,
Dura Ian
hie Patrik,
Just want to extend my hearty sympathies for your grandmothers passing,
may her SOUL rest in eternal peace.
All the best,
kenneth chipeta
I’m so sad for you Patric in your loss.
But be happy in the knowledge that your grandma is still with you though now she’s reborn into the light and is well, healthy, happy and whole in a way we can only dream of.
Hi Patric,
I was shocked to hear the news and I’m sure you did not expect your grandma to go so soon.
I hope you are strong in this tough time, my friend. My condolences to you and your family. Your grandma’s passing will make us appreciate more of our loved ones and friends around us. You are a good grandson and you know that she knew that too. Be strong because that’s what she wanted you to be!
Zamri
ps. I’ll always remember your advice to spend more quality time with our loved ones as much as we can.