I’m going to talk about overcoming fear today and there’s a reason why I choose that - because I don’t like whiners. Whiners are irritating and energy-sucking. And if you drill deep inside, it’s really not their fault, it’s because they don’t have fear inside them to overcome their problems. That’s why they whine. 
In my opinion, fearful thought is a disease! It comes largely from distorted mental habits. You see, our mind is consistently dwelling upon thoughts of doubt, failure, and inefficiency - that’s just how our brain functions. And this leads to many kinds of fear like fear of poverty, darkness, ridicule, microbes, insomnia, dogs, lightning, burglars, cold, solitude, marriage, Friday, lawyers, death, thirteen, accident, and ghosts and most importantly for our discussion, fear of failure.
At the same time, it’s not wrong that one should fear, however, when it’s not being acknowledged, it weakens the personal character.
Here’s an interesting research…
Thousands of people when asked can say truthfully, “I have all my life feared things that never happened.”
It means that, WHATEVER YOU HAVE FEARED COULD BE JUST AN ILLUSION.
Indecision is another frequent cause of the fear. People hesitate to take a step one way or the other for fear that they might do the wrong thing, and this spirit of irresolution and hesitation often leads them into the very mistakes they would avoid. It’s like a man on a bicycle, endeavoring to steer clear of an obstruction on the road, but all the while keeping his eye fastened upon it so that a collision is inevitable. There is nothing more disastrous to success than lack of purpose. If you give an impression that you are afraid, you will elbowed aside and imposed upon at almost every turn.
Personal experience:
I was in a casino last week and I was playing Baccarat. And if you have played before, you would know that it has nothing to do with skill. After start playing for a while, I’ve started losing my bet and a negative thought caught my mind - I lost confidence and fear of losing again. And you can guess what happened, I lost all of my chips after that. How did that happened? How did I end up playing on the wrong bet all of the time after that? It’s unexplainable, it’s what I meant by ‘attraction’.
When you have fear inside you, it frequently attracts what you don’t want.
How to overcome fear?
Well, be fearless. Develop self confidence in yourself.
The development of self-confidence begins with your own intelligent self-examination. The mind must be closely scrutinized, undesirable tendencies checked; faults eradicated, and correct habits of thought and conduct firmly established.
Sounds complex right? In a nutshell, you have to be strong in your mind to pull this off.
And good news is, confidence breeds confidence! The building of self-confidence is not difficult, but it requires patience and intelligent effort. There should be no straining, no anxiety, and no haste. Get it going and your self-confident will naturally ‘grows’.
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We shouldn’t apologize to ourselves (of course unless you’ve done something really wrong). We should be too big for that little habit of making excuses. Depreciation of yourself, self-pity and so on, never won a single battle of life. It has, on the contrary, killed ambition, weakened the will, and incapacitated thousands of men for noble work. That is why I hate whiners so much.
Suppose you put these practical questions to yourself: Does negative thinking pay?
Is it desirable for me to encourage thoughts in my mind that break down, hinder, and incapacitate me for good work?
Do I want negative thoughts that inevitably bring discontent and unhappiness?
Your answer will be, of course, that you don’t want them. But such thoughts work insidiously, and will find an entrance into your mind if you’re not extremely vigilant. The surest way to keep them out, however, is to fill the mind completely with vital positive thoughts, to think constantly of yourself as a person of unlimited possibilities, growing daily in mental and spiritual power AND STOP WHINING why your life is not the way you want it to be.
Realize that no weak-hearted, intermittent efforts will achieve your desired purpose. Hold in your mind the supreme assurance that you can and will achieve this indispensable power, and your reward for your energy and perseverance will be great!
Feel free to leave your comment. Thanks.
Patric Chan
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Hi Patrich,
You’re so right! We are constantly doubting about ourselves! I’ve been working hard on a personal project, and despite the ups and downs I’ve managed to go forward… When things seem to begin functioning, then fearful thoughts appear: have I done it right? is everything correct? Could I have done it better? Thanks God I detect them soon and can change them for thoughts of confidence and faith! During the last years I’ve learned a lot from people like you and have been able to overcome my limiting believes and make my dreams come true… Thanks for your words!
Thank you Patrick,
your article is a perfect example of matching…or…attracting…The words you used are exactly the thoughts I had this morning when I woke up,put together clearly.Wow,my own thoughts in an article!
This is a great confirmation that I am on the right path! Thank you again!
Precisely right, Patric.
That’s why it is so important to choose people with who we spend a lot of time.
“Realize that now,in this moment of time, you are creating. You are creating your next moment based on what you are feeling and thinking. That is what’s real. We can let go of the unconscious belief that being anxious about the past or the future will somehow protect us and instead reprogram our cells with new ways of responding.” -Doc Childre
Cheers, Thea
Fear is a driving force too. It awakens our souls. The goal of our life is to achieve Nirvana. It’s better to achieve Nirvana rather than trying hard to accumulate wealth, name & fame. Have you ever thought that you will take wealth or pride when you die? Definitely not, right? Buddha said all the things on this earth are impermanent. Anyhow may I know about the goal of our life from the great author like you? I really appreciate what you publish in the report. I have read several reports from you. Thanks a lot. You improved my life drastically.
your the man chan always excited to see your emails.
Thank you Patrick!
Good thoughts are always welcome!
Good thoughts from all of you who have good things to share.
Unfortunately we are amongst the many who will always have \"Bad Habits\"
It\’s almost impossible to avoid them. They are all around us.
My take is to be direct when I confront them. I rather speak my mind even if they don\’t like it or end up not liking me. I know that part of my message will filter through & know that at some point in their lives tha ligh will shine in their behalf. One can barely wait for that moment to happen.
I rather express my feelings directly than talk about them or even think about them.
The fact is that we were \"whiners\" at some point in our lifes but since we made a decision to become educated, we reached higher levels. It ws up to each one of us to make such decision.
The fact is that those bad habits come from the way we grew, the people who raised us (mother, father, friends, etc.) BUT mostly from the mothers.
Hard to conceive that many of our illnesses come from the same source.
Whiners are always -w/out exception- looking for attention, afirmation & validation.
They are miseraby unhappy looking for Co.
As they says goes: Misery loves Co.
The challenge is how to deal with them to minimize the possible impact.
reduce the amount of negativity that may rub on us & to somehow be able to send a message for their benefit.
When I confront a whiner the 1st thing I say is: Can you think of a better way?
That stop them right in their tracks…not knowing what to think/say for a while.
But yes!
You make a great point… valid to consider & keep in mind!
Thank you always!
Food for thought!
Peter
Patrick….your right!!! and its even so draining when its your other half….its like your swimming and struggling to stay above the waters but there is a very strong tug on your legs………I dont like whiners myself coz I am a go getter….I get up and move things and if I fail I dont give up down hearted I often try to look at it from another s perspective and that way I learn…but not whiners….they often are very good at blaming others for thier misery or misfortunes……….
Thanks Patrick
That’s so true. I never thought of that. You know I would use my casino experience too, I played blackjack once and I was like oh no I don’t want to bet too much in case I lose it quicker, and what did I do, I lost it. I played another time (faced my fear of losing again) and I had confidence thinking whatever I’m only going to play with $20 and whatever happens happens. Sure enough I ended up winning $90 that night. (I know some might be like wooo big deal) but $90 to me is a lot of money!
So you’re right, you have to have a certain mind frame or confidence level walking into a situation like that. And this is just an example I can think of from the top of my head.
I have been trying and trying to become this better person and so I picked up a book by C.Clinton Sidle called, “This Hungry Spirit”. It has helped me become a better person and to gain confidence. I would really recommend it to anyone that wants to find their purpose in life and become all that you can be and more. This book has the tools and steps you need.
Just a suggestion.
Take care and happy gambling!